My Name is Not Mommy: The "Sexism of Mom-ism"

First Lady Michelle Obama touted herself as "Mom-in-Chief" during last month's Democratic National Convention. And Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney and his wife, Ann, have both talked extensively about raising their sons and how fulfilling that has been, especially for stay-at-home-mom Ann.

In an article headlined "I'm Not a 'Mother First' " at The Nation, writer Jessica Valenti pushes back against the idea that as a woman her individuality is secondary to her role as a mom. And she says the idea that women should, above all, define themselves by their motherly duties is problematic, calling it the "sexism of mom-ism":

"There’s a danger in returning to an ideal where women's most important identity is relational rather than individual. If we want equality, women with children would be better served calling themselves people first, moms second."

Valenti says the mother-first identity, especially when touted by high profile individuals like Obama, can put women under unfair pressure, saying, "It means that women are expected to be everything—and give up anything—for their children."

In our Behind the Biz column on Friday, Joann Woolley, who teaches babies sign language through her business Sign4Baby, talked about how her mentality about her dual role as mom and business owner has shifted:

"In the first couple of years when I adopted the title of WAHM or "momprenuer" my mindset was that I was a mom who had a business. ... As my children have left the "baby stage" my mindset has shifted to I am a business owner who is a mom. If that shift had not occurred I would not have been able to sustain my business."

And RB Patch columnist Valerie Brown—a.k.a. The Evil Mother Lady—has shared many of her struggles with keeping her sense of self while chasing after her three girls, and the guilt she feels while trying to get away:

"I hear from friends, from experts, from my husband, how important it is to take time for myself and take care of myself. No one talks about the guilt induced by such ventures … does the recharge balance out against the stress of guilt? It doesn’t feel like it." (")

So tell us what you think: Is a mother-first identity a problem? Or do you find it to be the way you feel about yourself?